Fascinate Him With Four Little Words

I recently read an article by a female writer who claims that it doesn't matter who a single woman is or what she does for a living. Once she dates a guy, she could be performing brain surgery, and she'll be preoccupied about when he's going to call.

Not surprisingly, this woman has not been able to sustain a love relationship. She recently published a book about how she's given up on men and will devote herself exclusively to her cats.

I suspect her lack of success with men is due to her belief that women are programmed to put their lives on hold until a man calls. But women who are lucky in love absolutely do not do this. They do not assume that a guy might be he one for them based on a single date-- or even on a series of dates.

Instead, they say four magic words to themselves: We'll see what happens. They go about their lives as usual. If the guy calls, great. If he doesn't, well, obviously he wasn't he one.

The best assumption you can make early in a relationship is that a guy is not the one for you. Act accordingly. This doesn't mean you're rude to him, play games, or deliberately not return his calls. It does mean that you treat him as a potential friend.

You treat him as you would have him treat you, but you don't rearrange your life to hang out with him. You certainly don't break plans with your friends. If you find yourself wondering if or when he's going to call, take yourself to a movie. Go the the bookstore. Put the guy out of your mind until he's done something to deserve being in it.

The bonus? If you treat him as if he's not the one until he proves otherwise, you'll fascinate him. Men can smell desperation (the same way you can smell desperation), and it's a turn-off. A happy woman with a full life is devastatingly attractive.

Be that woman. Hold out for the wonderful man you deserve.

Terry MacDonald is the happily married author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams. Sign up for free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com